Joy Over Stress: Choosing Intention This Holiday Season
The holidays are a time for celebration, connection, and gratitude. Yet so many people feel pressure when it comes to gifting.
About 56% of people planning to give holiday gifts say they feel stressed about it because of cost and expectations.
I remember the years I went into holiday debt. I thought more spending meant more love. Instead, it brought stress that lasted for many months. Breaking that cycle took me years to recover from.
Setting Expectations
Years ago, I decided to do things differently. We set gift expectations: the same limit for each of my kids’ gifts and a dollar limit for our family exchanges.
Most of the kids in the family are adults, and four moved out on their own this year. We understand that budgets are tight, especially given today’s high cost of living, even though some can save more than others.
Everyone has experienced life events that have made this year feel especially challenging in one way or another. Because of that, we knew it was important to communicate clearly and openly as a family.
We committed to removing guilt from the equation and choosing understanding, grace, and appreciation instead. With fewer gifts to focus on, we’ve found ourselves spending more meaningful time together laughing, reconnecting, and playing old-school board games as a family.
Choosing Intention
This season, we’re all choosing intention. That means less spending for all of us. There is absolutely no guilt, and none of us will be second-guessing the family decision. My three kids, who are ages 18-25, even set spending limits for each other this year.
I believe that setting limits isn’t lacking generosity; it's practicing wisdom. It keeps joy from turning into regret, and dramatically reduces the stress that comes along with holiday spending and shopping.
Choosing Honesty Over Pressure
Sometimes the hardest part isn’t setting the limit, it’s saying out loud. I share in my financial education sessions that clear and kind communication can relieve pressure for everyone involved.
It can sound as simple as: "This year looks a little different financially for me, so I’m choosing to set a spending limit for the holidays. There’s absolutely no expectation on my end. I just wanted to be open so there’s no pressure.”
Or it can be an invitation: “Would anyone be open to setting a spending limit this year? I think it would help take pressure off all of us and keep the focus on being together rather than how many gifts are purchased.”
For others, it’s about sharing the decision in values: “I’m trying to be more intentional this season with less spending, more presence. Setting a gift limit helps me do that, and I wanted to communicate it clearly so there’s no added stress.”
None of these examples is about being less generous. They’re about being honest, thoughtful, and respectful of yourself and of the people you love.
A Gentle Reminder for You
I realize the holiday season starts this week. There might be something in this article that is a gentle reminder for you this year, or something to consider for next year.
Give yourself permission to choose:
Peace over pressure: Prioritize calm and joy instead of stress and expectations.
Presence over guilt: Focus on showing up fully, not worrying about spending less.
Gratitude over comparison: Focus on what brings you joy, not what others have.
Remember, Healthy Hustle Keeps You Happy. Wishing you a season filled with joy, not stress.
Cheers!
Melanie Lee